I have been delinquent on making New Year’s Resolutions the past two years. As I’ve written before, I don’t do resolutions, but rather New Year’s Fantasies. They are less like obligations and more like awesome potential if I play my cards right. It’s akin to what I saw recently going on over at Bucket List Publications.
My New Year’s lists are a way to remind myself of what’s important. When I make a list of fantasies, it often reveals what is not there, so I can add it. Does that make sense? I don’t want it to be all filled up with activities, because I need to remember to slow down and enjoy my people. I don’t want it to be filled with career goals and paying down debt, without including quality time with Tara and a few good hikes. It’s also a way to embrace my ambitious nature, and give myself permission to be driven and to look forward to amazing adventures and phenomenal self-growth, because that is simply what makes me Crystal.
Another way my tradition is different from resolutions is that I try to make my list around my birthday (January 9th) instead of the first of the year. My birthday reminds me that I’m older (45 this year!) and that lists like this are actually important. If I am granted a typical lifespan, then I’m already more than halfway through it, and that puts me into a little bit of a panic. So much left to do!
Fantasies for 2015
- Buy a house.
- Visit my brother and his girlfriend in Seattle right away, and tour the University of Washington campus.
- Finish the Japan photobook. I am *still* not done. It’s absolutely inexcusable, I know.
- Paint something in oils. I need to stop thinking of art as a luxury and make it a priority.
- Write more on my Shemya book. I was going gangbusters till pulling up the memories from all those years ago brought up a particularly terrible and traumatic memory. I’ve been in therapy since then and it is making an enormous difference in my life. I think I can dig back into my old life again without meeting an emotional roadblock.
- Have a fabulous coast road trip to Canada with M in March.
- Have a Disneyland trip in June that is so awesome it totally wipes out the horrible Disneyland memories from last March (I focused on the good stuff in my blog, but now you know the rest of the story).
- Be more assertive. As a parent, as a partner, as an employee. I need to be much better at speaking up for myself.
- Continue cultivating friends. 2014 was a great year for building healthy friendships and critiquing unhealthy friendships.
- Get better at referring to my transgender teen in gender neutral pronouns, which is *so hard* to do. More on this later…another enormous life-changing event I haven’t told you about yet.
- Plan and pay for my trip to Sri Lanka, January 2016. M is from Sri Lanka and has been begging R and me to go there with him. We finally agreed on early January, so logistics must be completed in 2015.
- Come up with a way to manage the blogosphere. Those of you who post every single day, sometimes more than once a day, offer me an excellent opportunity to learn better time management. Also, you keep me in awe. “How on Earth….?”
- Put out the rest of my raccoon stickers.
Ok, I think that’s a good list. Here is an awesome one from 2011: “Laugh more.” In 2009 I included this long rant. It obviously touched a nerve when I wrote it. And…it remains relevant:
Stay open to what the Universe provides for me. Stop trying to bully my way through. Stop trying to control the direction. Stop trying to control the definition of my success, and my path toward it. Give it up. Have some peace. Accept help from others. Be graceful in acknowledging my ignorance, while maintaining my strength and confidence and power and beauty.
Here’s hoping that most of your 2015 fantasies come true!