I am writing my second novel. But I never finished the first one, so this can be my second first novel.
I have a couple of books started – notably a memoir of 13 months on the island of Shemya, Alaska when I spent part of my life as a very young and mixed up woman and learned some great big life lessons in a truly remarkable place. Shemya is a tiny island almost at the very end of the Aleutians, and I was stationed there as a weather specialist while I was in the Air Force. What is most fabulous about my story is the PLACE, but also intriguing, at least to me, was how I changed as a person during my 20th and 21st year. I wrote 60,000 words and then completely lost steam on it about 2011. I would like to finish it one day, but I barely remember anything anymore, which is too bad.
Right now I am writing an entirely fictional novel about an entirely true story: me and my mom, when my mom died. The two characters in the book are based exactly on us. I am cheating in the most delicious way because I have old letters written by her and by me, and old journals, and old emails, and I’m capturing words from all these sources for the book. The other day I pulled a box of saved letters out and began digging through them sloppily. I was only looking for any with a postmark of 2011. I found zero letters from the time around my mother’s death.
That is disappointing. But I did find a handful of photos. I’m certain there will be more, when I go through them more meticulously. The photos are all new to me, and they are wonderful. I have scanned them. One at the top of this post. How special: it is Mom and her twin brother, my Uncle Mike, when they were 56 years old. I am 56 years old right now. Mom looks good, and happy. She adored her brother so much. Called him “Bruv.”
I have 48,704 words in my current novel. I have written another 20,000 and put them aside as I shape and mold it. I have no writing training or experience, so I don’t have a model to follow. I’ve watched 40 YouTube videos and I engaged in a free one-month Masters Class account when I watched only writers. I’ve been writing all my life, but I’m kind of mired in the muck still. I have tried outlines, word vomit clouds, sketches, summaries, bullet lists…nothing I come up with makes sense.
So what am I doing? Because clearly something is working…. yeah, I’m just writing it. From page one. And I love it! I am having a blast. Each new day when I write a lot, I am actually surprised by what happens. It’s like magic. An example is when I am typing along and then I write something and say to myself, “Oh THAT’S who called the doctor…I was wondering who it would be…” or “Of course he is going to take over the business for her, that makes perfect sense. Why didn’t I think of that? Oh. I did think of that.”
I am pretty sure I have heard somewhere that writing from the beginning is not efficient. I agree it does not seem ideal. But it’s what is working, so I accept.
I did do two things that helped me so much! One writer’s suggestion was to write the last chapter to get a good idea where everyone ends up. Then go back to the beginning and give them the longest journey possible to get from who they were to who they become. Another thing I did was to try and join a writer’s group. The person leading one group heard about my main character and bought in to her immediately and said some snarky thing about why she got her personality and it was brilliant!! That’s exactly why she was behaving like that, and I am so grateful for his accidental help. That writing group never met again, and I haven’t found another I like.
My writing strategy now is just me here at home, trying to squish fun writing into my days when I can, between volunteer work, and paid work, and school, and the house and garden, and my family. Wish me a focused mind, so I hold still and write often. And wish me speed to finish it up before I lose steam. Then I can begin the MOST FUN part of all, which is editing. I love the editing.
I’ll leave you with one last photo I found. It’s a headshot from when Mom’s father was an actor in Hollywood. He had only bit parts and I’ve tried to search and find the movies, but I don’t find anything online with his name except a TV series. I think he said he was in The Long Hot Summer with Angela Lansbury. Everyone called him Capn John because he was proudly a merchant marine ship captain for about 30 years. He settled down to breed horses in Southern Oregon, and called his place just outside of Lakeview, Oregon the Sailboat Ranch. I’m sure lots of people down there know the place. He’s not famous to anyone but us. He said he could never get parts. “I had leading man looks but supporting man talent. I might get cast, but the lead would take one look at me and say, ‘I don’t want to stand next to him!’ and I would get dropped.”
Conscious Engagement 
I love that you’re having fun with the writing!
Thank you! Me too. Having this unexpected source of joy that makes me gush with excited chatter when I am around someone else is a nice way to escape.
Oh Crystal! What you are going through is why I’m not writing a novel. I envy and greatly respect you for your determination.
The only reason I don’t write stories with the ending fleshed out is that I want to see how things develop. Sometimes the characters seem to pull against a predetermined fate. It can be interesting to see where things go. But I often play what-if games. However, being a true sci-fi fan, I’m leery of going down the rabbit hole…too many loose alternatives.
Memory is 100 percent, until it’s not! I knew someone who was stationed where you were in the Aleutions in the ’70’s, but of course I can’t remember his name. He seemed to have liked it quite a bit.
I’m looking forward to progress reports, and best wishes in finding a writers support group
Thank you Lou! I brought Marlene in for my support team, and she has been helping me stay motivated. I sent her my first five or so chapters to read and she likes what I’ve got so far.
I can absolutely relate to what you say about letting characters show you their own adventures along the way. It does happen and I’ve had to re-write. Also, I’ve had to discard entire chapters because I realize it no longer works. I keep all of it in a “Discard” folder, because…who knows what’s going to happen in the end.
Good job! Writing it all down in both fits and spurts
Thank you Bonnie! I appreciate your early support on this also. This is the Post Office book I told you about. I may still use your expertise if I ever still get stuck on a USPS question for what an employee might think…
Sorry. Not quite finished! That’s fabulous to have so much material to work with. Keep at it. I hope you can find a good group too. Feedback, when it’s honest, can make all the difference. Onward my friend. Your Mom looks happy and you look so much like her. Radiating happiness. Dare we ever wish for more.
Isn’t it like treasure?! My grandmother, Mom’s mom, saved the letters. Then when she was getting near the end, she boxed up everything she had from each of her children and grandchildren, and gave them back to us. Mom had already died, so she gave me Mom’s letters too. Mom’s husband gave me a box full of her journals. I have not yet read through all these…too much pain anticipated. But I am writing this book on purpose to make me do it.
That his not cheating. It is research. Two beautiful graduates and a handsome man.
Thank you Derrick, yes!! It is indeed research because I want to draw this character well. I am pleased with being able to use my mother’s exact words, because then I know for sure it is something she would say. I feel fortunate. Other writers have to invent the words for every character, but I have a bountiful treasure cache to draw from.
Of course I am biased, but I think our whole family is good looking. :o) I think the beauty I see comes at least halfway from the love I feel.
I am so happy to hear that you are writing so much!! And you look just like your mama!! Beautiful!!
Thank you, Sandy! I had to stop for a long time: the Great Spirit newsletter and the Mt. Hood Cherokees newsletter and Cherokee elections and preparing a lesson plan for VFW in Annapolis all hit me at the same time. I was swamped and stressed out and never even thought about my book for a month. But all that is calmed down, and I can play again.
The classify comment is from me! Sandy Hogsed!
I knew it was you! :o) WordPress shows me the email that people use to comment. And I recognize yours.
What a great post! Where do you get your energy!?! You do SO many other things, and now we learn you’re writing multiple books too! Gracious girl – what’s your secret?! It was fun to read about your family. The old photos are fabulous.
“Distraction therapy!” ha ha ha. I made this up once to explain why I keep my fingers in multiple pots at once: because it distracts me from daily anxieties. But also, I am great at time management (used to be much better but I am slowing way down), and just shoehorn things into every moment. I am currently working with my therapist on a way to STOP doing that, actually. I am pretty sure I would benefit from pulling back from commitments and doing more puttering and book reading and cloud gazing.
I love al the old photos you found. I have my mom’s diary from when she was 14 to 18. I love reading it and hope to use it for a book one day. Good luck with your writing.
It is amazing to have your mother’s journal from her teen years. Oh, how I would love to have something like that from my own mother. I am sure you will find a character who needs you to use the journal one of these days. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
I stumbled onto this blog a few years back. Read one post, liked it, read another — “The Bungie Jump.” A feel-good adventure that struck me. I followed along for a while, then drifted off for no real reason.
One day I checked back in and found a post that just hit different. Pure joy. You’d moved out of “Go Brian” land and into civilization — chickens could come, as long as they behaved themselves. The way you described your home, the excitement, the happiness… I sat there with a big smile on my face the whole time. Read it twice.
Truth is, it’s not that hard for a writer to pull tears. But making someone sit there and smile the whole way through — that takes real talent.
Funny enough, here I am at 2 a.m., years later, wide awake and thinking about your idea for a book then — an old post office and found letters. That premise stuck with me. I’ve been looking forward to the day I can buy it, maybe even get a signed copy.
I’m looking forward to the mother-daughter letters book too. Feels like those old letters might be a thread tying your stories together — and it’s a good one.
Jack
Jack, this is an amazingly supportive and encouraging comment to leave for me. I am really grateful. Now I have another specific person that I am going to finish this book for. It thrills me to imagine signing a copy for someone. :o) I’m glad you stumbled onto my blog and I’m glad you find joy in some of my posts. What a powerful gift a writer has, you know? The pen is mightier than the sword. I think I was born with the love of writing, and it hasn’t failed me. I use it as a tool to make myself happy when I’m feeling joyless. What a treat that others want to come along. Publishing might take a long time, I can send you drafts and you could help me shape it! Then you won’t have to wait so long.
Go Crystal! Good for you! Loved all the photos – especially the side by side of you and your mom
I like that side by side best too. Many people have told us and still tell me now, that we look alike. I have never seen that. Mom never did either. But we certainly behaved the same – identical movements for obscure things even (ooh, that reminds me of something I can put into my book!). In those two photos, I feel the same emotion from those two young women, when I look at the pictures together.
Crystal,
I appreciate the reply. I won’t hold you to sending drafts… but I won’t pretend I wouldn’t enjoy reading them, either.
The letters idea has me. There’s something about old letters that feels like time travel in the best way.
When your book’s ready, I’ll be in line.
Jack
I love the photos of you and your mom next to each other. You look so alike at that age! Not to mention absolutely gorgeous. It is wonderful to hear that you are writing and having fun with it. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with writing a novel based on one’s own life and experience. I actually think it makes more sense to do that than using the same material to write a memoir. Better to have creative freedom that way instead of getting stuck in the ‘facts’. Happy writing.
Your encouragement means a lot to me, thank you. It’s funny you mention that about getting stuck in facts, Jolandi. I had a crisis of conscience about a month ago about that very idea. It had suddenly occurred to me that I was getting very specifically personal about some things in these characters, and I worried about my brothers. I have not written any brothers into my story. Would they think I was leaving them out for a reason? Would they be offended? Somehow I got myself all tangled up and luckily have a brother who has more writing experience than me and I asked him that question. Cool it, he said. Overthinking. Just write your story. ha ha. That was what I needed to hear. Don’t get caught up in the facts. I’m not writing a memoir, just a story based on things I know. It’s easier that way. Also, I think more fun than real life in this case because I get to invent things and I keep myself interested.
Whaaa?!? gorgeous? I always thought I must be pretty, based on how people treat me, but my real beauty comes from my personality. I won’t buy into “gorgeous,” but I’ll admit you gave me a great big smile. My mom was also pretty, and also a small bundle of bouncy joy to be with sometimes – we were alike in that way. With academic training in anthropology, I find myself marveling at the ways a person’s life becomes different based on how they appear to others – a random gene assignment will absolutely affect the way life happens around you. My grandfather’s story is an example. If he were less attractive, he might have stayed in Hollywood. So curious.
So interesting about the anthropology. I think a bubbly personality shines through in photographs, which is exactly what makes a person gorgeous. I often look at pictures of people who society would consider beautiful, but think that they look plastic and not at all what I would describe as gorgeous. So hence you are gorgeous, Crystal. And I’m glad I brought a smile to your face. 😁
I’m so glad your brother’s advice made you stop fretting. Fiction leaves one open to all sorts of possibilities, which is most probably why you are having so much fun with it. Enjoy every moment.
Love all the pictures. The haircuts definitely speak of history. ’67!
As for writing. Two things I’ve learnt: 1) One of the main secrets of writing is reading. The books you read shape your writing even if you don’t realise it. 2) I’m not sure I’m entitled to give any advice, but I can share how I write. I first write in my head. In idle moments, an idea comes. It can be a story, a chapter. Whatever. Then I play with the idea. Think of scenes, dialogues, characters. It may take weeks, months, or even years. When I have the opening, the main line and the end, all those three things, I can sit dow to write. ‘Never had a blank page syndrome. Yet…
Enjoy your writing, Crystal.
PS. You look a lot like your mother.
Thank you for all this great feedback, Brian. Thank you for complimenting me by saying I look like my mother. She was beautiful. I first got the lost letters at the post office idea in 1998, so, I think that leaving it in my head was not my personal solution. It just sat there and never developed. I began writing it once, over a decade ago, and this time around I have re-read those passages and I can’t think of a single reason to keep most of it. Great scene-setting and dialogue, but leading to nothing specific. I must have learned something from the books I read, the directors who said, “I had to cut that because it didn’t help tell the story,” and the authors I watched on YouTube who had so many suggestions to move things along. One author said his goal was to make people constantly ask themselves, “What happens next?” with all that in mind, you are so right that I am a product of those people: and it has made me a better writer, even though I haven’t finished a book yet! I am so happy to hear you have never had blank page syndrome!
Very true. What doesn’t help the story has to go. (It might help another story later, but that’s how saving updated versions does. Keep the old version and work on a new one.)
And yes, what happens next is critical. That’s where you learn another kind of ‘cut’: make your own cliffhangers…
As for the blank page… never say never… It might happen to me tomorrow.