Once she was like I am today

I am writing my second novel. But I never finished the first one, so this can be my second first novel.

I have a couple of books started – notably a memoir of 13 months on the island of Shemya, Alaska when I spent part of my life as a very young and mixed up woman and learned some great big life lessons in a truly remarkable place. Shemya is a tiny island almost at the very end of the Aleutians, and I was stationed there as a weather specialist while I was in the Air Force. What is most fabulous about my story is the PLACE, but also intriguing, at least to me, was how I changed as a person during my 20th and 21st year. I wrote 60,000 words and then completely lost steam on it about 2011. I would like to finish it one day, but I barely remember anything anymore, which is too bad.

Right now I am writing an entirely fictional novel about an entirely true story: me and my mom, when my mom died. The two characters in the book are based exactly on us. I am cheating in the most delicious way because I have old letters written by her and by me, and old journals, and old emails, and I’m capturing words from all these sources for the book. The other day I pulled a box of saved letters out and began digging through them sloppily. I was only looking for any with a postmark of 2011. I found zero letters from the time around my mother’s death.

That is disappointing. But I did find a handful of photos. I’m certain there will be more, when I go through them more meticulously. The photos are all new to me, and they are wonderful I have scanned them. One at the top of this post. How special: it is Mom and her twin brother, my Uncle Mike, when they were 56 years old. I am 56 years old right now. Mom looks good, and happy. She adored her brother so much. Called him “Bruv.”

I have 48,704 words in my current novel. I have written another 20,000 and put them aside as I shape and mold it. I have no writing training or experience, so I don’t have a model to follow. I’ve watched 40 YouTube videos and I engaged in a free one-month Masters Class account when I watched only writers. I’ve been writing all my life, but I’m kind of mired in the muck still. I have tried outlines, word vomit clouds, sketches, summaries, bullet lists…nothing I come up with makes sense.

So what am I doing? Because clearly something is working…. yeah, I’m just writing it. From page one. And I love it! I am having a blast. Each new day when I write a lot, I am actually surprised by what happens. It’s like magic. An example is when I am typing along and then I write something and say to myself, “Oh THAT’S who called the doctor…I was wondering who it would be…” or “Of course he is going to take over the business for her, that makes perfect sense. Why didn’t I think of that? Oh. I did think of that.”

I am pretty sure I have heard somewhere that writing from the beginning is not efficient. I agree it does not seem ideal. But it’s what is working, so I accept.

I did do two things that helped me so much! One writer’s suggestion was to write the last chapter to get a good idea where everyone ends up. Then go back to the beginning and give them the longest journey possible to get from who they were to who they become. Another thing I did was to try and join a writer’s group. The person leading one group heard about my main character and bought in to her immediately and said some snarky thing about why she got her personality and it was brilliant!! That’s exactly why she was behaving like that, and I am so grateful for his accidental help. That writing group never met again, and I haven’t found another I like.

My writing strategy now is just me here at home, trying to squish fun writing into my days when I can, between volunteer work, and paid work, and school, and the house and garden, and my family. Wish me a focused mind, so I hold still and write often. And wish me speed to finish it up before I lose steam. Then I can begin the MOST FUN part of all, which is editing. I love the editing.

I’ll leave you with one last photo I found. It’s a headshot from when Mom’s father was an actor in Hollywood. He had only bit parts and I’ve tried to search and find the movies, but I don’t find anything online with his name except a TV series. I think he said he was in The Long Hot Summer with Angela Lansbury. Everyone called him Capn John because he was proudly a merchant marine ship captain for about 30 years. He settled down to breed horses in Southern Oregon, and called his place just outside of Lakeview, Oregon the Sailboat Ranch. I’m sure lots of people down there know the place. He’s not famous to anyone but us. He said he could never get parts. “I had leading man looks but supporting man talent. I might get cast, but the lead would take one look at me and say, ‘I don’t want to stand next to him!’ and I would get dropped.”