Re-Connecting

On the last day of February, Leap Day 2024, I went over to see Marlene as soon as I got up and packed my stuff. We visited a great little cafe very close to where she lives, called Monica’s Cafe. It’s the only breakfast menu I can think of that offers a choice of breads that include a tortilla. That is what I always have at home with my breakfast, finally a place that knows. ❤

Marlene and I talked. There is something about her brain and mine that clicked immediately, the first time we met. It’s the same every time we are together. She’s the only girlfriend I have on the planet that I can tell my deepest and most painful and scary secrets to. I can ask her advice when I can’t ask anyone else. I can confess my wild aspirations without fear of her trying to show me how impractical they are. She loves me unreservedly, and I adore her back.

It is also a measure of shared experience. Pedro and I just watched the live action version of Mulan last night and it was surprisingly good. When Mulan comes back home to ask forgiveness from her family for leaving them in the night, her father gazes into her face and realizes what has happened: somehow, though a woman, she managed to join the army, and has been in battle. He says to her, “A warrior recognizes another warrior.” That’s how I feel with Marlene. (And Pedro too – I need to be with people who understand the battle, and have decided to come out on top.) Marlene is a warrior, and anyone who has read her blog will agree with me.

For those who know her, I’ll give a little update that her blog, insearchofitall, is probably not going to publish many more posts in the future, if at all. Marlene has her fingers in other projects that give her joy, and she has had to whittle down the number of things she works on. Sewing is more fun, and right now that is getting her attention.

We finished eating at Monica’s (great food, great service, big portions and reasonable prices) and Marlene was still feeling up to it, so we went back to her place to chat. Before we could really settle in, she began loading me up with food. I was instructed to choose a few from a box of Marlene’s favourite pastries from an excellent bakery, she cut a couple slices from her new favourite marbled rye, a couple slices of cinnamon bread dusted with powdered sugar. In turn, I presented her with Moonstruck chocolate and hazelnuts from Oregon. I also gave her and her son (who lives a block away) a bag of grapefruit and oranges I had just picked with Bill & Mikki the day before, in Scottsdale. Marlene put each delectable into a bag for me to snack on during my journey later in the day. She was caring for me like a mom, and it felt good. Man, I’ve missed Marlene.

We talked and talked for hours. This was what I had come to Arizona for. During preparations for the trip we weren’t sure if the weather would allow the drive into the mountains, or if Marlene would be feeling ok, or if anything else would get in our way. Nothing did get in our way. We laughed, and dreamed, and made plans, and talked about hard stuff, and talked about our kids, and our exes, and our homes, and our projects. Healing for me. I hope it felt as good for her.

It had to come to an end. I wanted to reach my cousin’s home in Tucson before dark and it was getting late in the day. We said goodbye, we hugged giant bear hugs, and I finally left Show Low. Gosh I love that woman. ❤

I did not make any fun Atlas Obscura stops, and just drove. Hours later, I grabbed a photo while stopped at a light just north of the city. The sky was perfection, the sun was low, but I was sure I would make it in the last light of day. I sent to photo to my cousin David, and he messaged back, “I know exactly where that is. You’ll be here in 30 minutes.”

We were both SO excited. My cousin and I had seen each other briefly two years earlier, when the siblings descended on Phoenix for a momentous gathering (that’s a whole other family story that I wrote about). But it was just a couple hours and with sibs and several cousins, it wasn’t a personal visit. This one would be specifically to reconnect with each other. Prior to the visit two years ago, it had been 15 years since we had spent one-on-one time together.

David asked me what I wanted to do in the next couple of days, and I told him the only thing that I wanted was for him to take me into the desert, to his favourite wildlife photography spots, and show me how he makes his photography magic. << You’ve got to click that link, please. It’s just images – will take only a second – and then you will know what kind of photographer I was about to visit. He does this on an amateur basis, but his work blows my friggin mind.

Bird Count: This day I did not take a single photo of a bird. As of day three in Arizona, I had captured 5 birds.