Laurie, Marlene, Pauline, and the rest of you who have asked me these past few weeks, “Hey Crystal, what’s the news on the house?” Well, here is an unofficial, totally non-committal update.
The photo above would theoretically be my new home, should the planets properly align.
As I told Laurie, I’m superstitious. I blogged a month ago that I found a home to purchase. And then I tantalized you by saying how close to paradise it’s going to be. And I still won’t get into the reasons why I think it’s paradise, because I worry that if I rave too much, or flash a bunch of photos, it will evaporate. My fingers are crossed, I’m hopping from one foot to the other, hands balled up, trying not to shout how excited I am.
For the last few years I never thought this could happen because my name is currently on another mortgage that I cannot currently escape from. In January 2008 I bought a house with a guy I was dating at the time. I am not at all comfortable with sharing enormous investments and would have preferred either his name on it or mine, but not both. However, we were told that in the state of Oregon, no matter what the relationship, if multiple adults will consider the property their home, then everyone’s name goes on the mortgage. It was the sixth house I have purchased, and the FIRST one that had another person’s name on it. The idea of that grated (I’m a very independent woman, ha ha).
The economy crashed and he lost his job and I carried us for a year till he got another job. Then he lost that one too. And I carried us again. Times were hard. So hard in 2008 and 2009. Though he was finally working again in 2010, a lot of things piled up until I couldn’t bear it anymore and left the relationship and moved out, leaving him in the house since he loved it so much. He said his intent was to refinance and get my name off it. I fully support that idea, as soon as he can possibly arrange it.
Instead, he lost his job again.
So what I have now is a house on my record that is not mine, that I am not welcome at, that has many many months of missed and late mortgage payments, that I have no control over, but it somewhat controls me.
The ex-boyfriend and I barely communicate now, but I still have access to the website of the mortgage lender, and guess what I discovered several months ago? Viola! One full year of mortgage payments have been made in full and on time! This means that I no longer appear as such a great risk, and I can qualify for a loan in this window, while it lasts. (Quick! Before he loses his job again!)
I also mentioned in an earlier post that there are not many houses on the market here, and that they are rising in value. I knew exactly what I wanted and I would not settle for anything less. That meant I had to search far and wide for a place. I found it well outside of Portland. It will be an hour and 10 minute drive from home to work from now on, so thank goodness I work at home and only have to head into the office one day a week. Next month I will say goodbye to City Girl and get to know Country Girl again. I miss her. I haven’t known her for oh, so long.
You will see my new journey chronicled, as I make that transition. In fact, today I was negotiating the price of a used tractor, and The Uncles called to see how many chicks I needed so they can start raising them for me in their incubation cages. I like to begin all my adventures feet first.
That is… once I am certain the adventure is actually going to happen. Stay tuned.
Conscious Engagement 
There are some important lessons in that story!
Boy howdy, are there. I wish I could have had a team of consultants at every step, but instead it was just me, bumbling along. Like in my tagline: careening through life and learning stuff. 🙂
This has actually made me cry! I so understand this situation and so want this to work out for you! In a similar and yet entirely different way I am in the same boat, with no hope of ever owning my own home again and for the past few days have have been feeling very flat and sad about that. [It comes in waves from time to time.] Your post makes me feel hopeful for someone else getting the dream come true scenario! Fingers and toes and everything else possible – crossed!!
You have mentioned before that you could not own a home, Pauline, and now that I find out the reason is similar to what happened to me, I am very, very sad for you. Those years were some of the hardest in my life. It means that you have had hard times too, and I wish that were not true for you.
I know what you’re saying about the flat feelings coming in waves. At least you know it’s going to change for the better if you just hang in there. Sometimes being stubborn is a useful quality.
Thank you for crossing digits for me!! The date when I am scheduled to sign all the final paperwork is June 10th – so soon! I’ll take all the support I can get.
How awful it has been for you Crystal. I do hope this works out. I shall look out for your news. I also feel sad for Pauline.
I appreciate your concern, thank you. Yes things were awful at times, and I suppose that everyone has an awful time to reflect upon.
I just thought of a quote from a favourite author, Tolkien:
“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
My life today is really good! And I believe in positive energy, in that if I have faith, and stay true to myself, “stay on the white path” the Cherokees would say, and “pray” the religious would say, then things are going to work out just fine.
One very awesome thing about this move that has never happened for me: even though I’m packing up to leave, one of my neighborhoods is going to stay exactly the same! My blogosphere will be right here for me. Thank you. 🙂
I so hope it works out for you…
Maureen, you don’t know it, but your own home has been inspiring me for nearly a year. Your photos of your spectacular view are another paradise, in my opinion. It is so close to what I would want in a place, your blog has helped me keep an eye on my goal. Thank you.
Thank you Crystal. I am really touched that I have been able to help in some small way…I have always felt that beauty can be found wherever you live…
Beautiful house. Love the greenery. I really enjoyed this post. I can relate to it very well and I hope you get to actually own this one. 🙂
“Moved out and left him in the house since he loved it so much”— this made laugh so hard.
Thank you Prayson! I am so glad you will be with me on this journey. It will be soul food to live out there in the quiet and greenery with no city for miles.
Glad you laughed at that line. When I wrote it, I meant it matter-of-factly, but reading it from an outsider’s perspective…well, that’s pretty funny.
Go find that country girl, Crystal. She just might suit you these days.
Thanks, Bruce! I don’t know how it will go, but I am going to give it try. I suspect the country girl will be a natural fit. 😉
Congratulations! Cheers to new beginnings!
Thank you!!!
Wow what a beautiful new home to look forward to x
Thank you. I think so.
So you posted this on the first, and your FB update was on the 4th. Are things still going okay?
I love the house!
Errr, nope. *sigh* The underwriters of the loan are not at all happy to see my name on another mortgage, which is EXACTLY what I told the company would be a problem. I told them in November. They said, “Oh, no worries. He’s paying on time, so it won’t reflect on you at all.” “Are you sure?” I asked, dubious. “You’ll be fine,” they assured me.
Fine until six days before closing and it all has come to a halt. The underwriter wants more documents, but since Thursday no one has been able to get in contact with the underwriter, so we do not know *what* documents would sate the person. Providing documents relies entirely on my ex-boyfriend’s willingness to comply. It’s very stressful.
The sale will probably still happen, eventually.
A house sale that goes smoothly is stressful. Having these big bumps in the road make it even more so. 6 days later I’m hoping you are still thinking positive that this sale will happen someday!
I almost missed this post buried in all those I’m behind on. Glad I’m still sifting through. I LOVE it!!! Life is full of hurdles. I guess it’s to see how high we can jump. Men! 😦 Can’t live with ’em and can’t kill ’em. What’s a gal to do. Some of us pay huge prices for love…that isn’t. I felt like that buying this place. Waiting to see how much might go wrong. This was a gamble considering the condition and the money needed to fix it but so worth it. I’ll be waiting, not so patiently to hear from you on the 10th. I think it will all work out. Keeping good thoughts for you.
Meh, forget the 10th. It’s now a tentative 17th. But yes, when I know what’s going on and when I get to move, I’ll let you know.
Men. Arrggh. Actually, I tend to think it’s as much my fault as theirs. If I was tougher, I wouldn’t put up with the despicable people in my life. But I just keep thinking, “That person could be so awesome if they had some support.” But… that is a fruitless road to travel. It has taken me about 30 years of dating and marriage to learn it. 🙂
I know what you mean about men. Which is why I refer to my ex as my LAST husband.:) I even have a hard time living with my son. Hope he figures something out soon. Fate may have to step in. I love him dearly but I love living alone more. 🙂 Ok, more finger crossing till the 17th. It’s such a pain buying a house.
I also am superstitious about talking about the plans I have for the future. That superstition has served me well. The times I have talked of things, they fell apart. Don’t tell anyone until it is done, I say.
It has been nice seeing you again lately, my friend. You had so much going on outside the blog that I missed you.
Your idea is spot on! Look what happened to me here. I waited until the closing date was only days away, and thought it would be safe, and I told everyone. I should have followed my instincts, because it is no longer going well.
It will get better though: my other magical belief is that if I think positive thoughts and have faith, I can manifest my own successes. It’s just as reliable as the superstition of talking about the future. So, I’m actually sure everything is going to be just fine. I just need to focus on the positive and keep my spirits up.
I’ve gotten pretty good at accepting the Buddhist idea of impermanence and that everything happens for a reason at the time it is happening, and you will come out the other side wiser. Which I think is really all we are here for: just to see how much we can learn before we die.
That is a good mission in life: see how much we can learn before we die.
I like to think so. I think lots of us want to understand the world before we die. To understand how we are connected to the world, and everyone and everything in it. That we are all made of stardust. I think I’m lucky figuring it out so young. Not that I don’t hope to learn more. I don’t think many get to do that, at least not many of us Westerners.
Crystal darling… my bosom friend… sending all sorts of positive thoughts your way and hoping the house will be yours. Stupid underwriters.
OH Kristina! It truly is you! I assumed you were my co-worker Kristina, who also reads my blog. When I read “bosom friend,” I thought what a coincidence it was that she used that phrase, when it is particularly special for me and my friend Krissy, who has been my bosom friend for longer than anyone ever on this planet.
Thank you thank you for saying hello and buoying my spirit when I truly need some lift. Kisses and hugs to you my bosom friend. You always seemed my steadfast Diana to balance a reckless Anne, and together our dreams are better.
I always forget that old friends still think of me as “Krissy.” Sounds so foreign to me now! Anyway, though I’m not very good at staying in touch, I do think of you often and love keeping tabs on you via your blog and Christmas letters (which I gobble up like a feast when they arrive). I know what it’s like to deal with financial stress and situations beyond your control, so you have my sympathies! Keep your chin up, my friend. Life always has a way of working out, even if it’s not how we expected. With all the light you throw out into the world, I just know it’ll bounce back and shine on you. If it doesn’t happen with this house, it’ll happen with another.