Secret revealed here

Disgusting advertisement

I’m sorry! I’m sorry!  The abhorrent image you see here is the entire reason for my morning’s quest, and I had to post it to show you why I was so motivated to research rather than retch.

Aren’t you equally SICK and TIRED of seeing these horrible ads? Ugh. They are the worst form of personal space violation on the web. I am so offended to be forced to view this cr*p every time I go online to address a legitimate task. Such as checking movie times, like I did this morning, so I could take my daughter to see How to Train Your Dragon before it leaves the Academy.

Blam! My senses are repeatedly assaulted with the horrific photo images I have been so kind to have shared with you. Supported by Rachel Ray, ABC, and CBS no less. Frankly, I can’t believe I’ve resisted this miracle of weight loss for so long.

I decided to find the answer without clicking the ad. My quest was rewarded, and “Cranky McFitness” saved me, as she put it, from “soiling myself.” I now know the astonishing, secret “weird old tip”, that “one rule to obey.”

Click here, and you’ll know the secret too. Brace yourself, it’s just as world-shattering as you expect it will be!

I sent an email:

Hey Crabby,

I did NOT have to soil myself this morning. It’s all because of your great blog entry about Losing Weight With One Weird Old Tip. Or was it Obey One Rule? In any case, I KNEW it would be disappointing and stupid, and that thought alone has kept me away from those damn obnoxious ads for all this time. (I’m sorta proud of that) But this morning, having to view a new photo display of the most disgusting side-views of women’s guts, flabby and otherwise, I couldn’t stand it anymore. WHAT in the world is this “Tip” that is so amazing that it earns itself the right to violate my web integrity to such a degree this morning? I wanted to barf.

Instead I had the idea that many like me in the world MUST have clicked, they must have. And one of them, at least ONE brilliant person must have blogged the answer. So I searched. I found several people who complained about the ads. But you revealed the awesome, time-honored secret. I am haunted and tempted no more.

Thank you thank you thank you thank you!!

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