My daughter’s father brought her over for the weekend as usual on Friday night.

“I just wanted to let you know, I’m moving her to California next month. I’m giving my two-weeks notice at work Monday. I don’t like living here, my social security disability has run out, and I have friends there and not here. I don’t know of any better way to tell you, so there it is.”

Our agreement states that the summer of 2009 she comes to live with me during the school years until she graduates. So, his brilliant plan is to quit his job here, go to Calif to live with his girlfriend with no job prospects, put my daughter into a school in the middle of a year, leave her there for another year, then move her straight back here to Portland to fulfill our agreement.

That’s ridiculous. The poor kid is just now getting settled in from her move last year.

I guess we weren’t getting along as well as I thought. This is a dirty, under-handed, manipulative, deceitful, aggressive move on his part. No discussion. No let’s talk about it. He told me he’s been thinking about it for a long time and can’t think of any other way to deal with his difficulties. He states what he’s doing to our daughter and gives me 2 weeks notice to deal with it. He can be such a shit. Trust me, when he tells the story from now on, he’ll make his role out to be the victim and I’ll play the role of the evil dictator.

Ok, so, fun week ahead of me.

My incredibly supportive man, who has been freaking out the last month about finding the best way to pay for rebuilding the foundation once we buy this home, came to me and laid out all his sources of immediately liquidatable assets. He said, “We are getting a good attorney. Now is not the time to worry about money. She needs some stability, and she needs to stay here. Whatever you need for a retainer, we can pay it.”

Well, let’s hope Washington County, OR makes a little bit more sense for family law than Humboldt County, CA.

Like a mother bear, I am not cringing, whining, or wringing my hands. I’ve tightened up my haunches and lowered my head to brace for war.

Comments from old blog:


My dear friend, I am so sorry to hear about this. As if you and your daughter haven’t been through enough trauma already due to his inability to make his life work. I hope and pray Oregon gives you better options than Humboldt did.

Love you, April


Thanks sweetie. We’ll see how it goes. I was really hoping the courts were something of my past. But, I guess that would be too easy, eh?

2 thoughts on “F*ck

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