A step backward

Hey. Just so no one gets the idea that we’re all perfect here, I offer up myself as an example of what not to do. 😉

Many of you Zaadsters are so brilliant with your entrepreneurial ship, your volunteerism, your endless cheery voices and buoyant spirits. Me, I’m not such a superstar. I’ve got about as much as I can handle keeping myself in line. Over here in the land of debt, unemployment and living with relatives, it does not feel that Sometimes Davey Wins. And then I lose my temper.

It’s a very loud house. My partner and I are used to quiet, quiet. There is a screen door off the kitchen that bangs every time someone goes through it, unless that person holds the door and closes it quietly. The Uncles never do that. They work odd shifts and fuss around at 3am getting ready for work, in and out, in and out, and the door goes BANG! BANG!

On their day off, I found the odd circumstance where I was up before them, and took an evil pleasure in going through that door a few times and letting it crash behind me as I went out to feed the chickens and take the garbage can out to the street. “Ha ha! Let them see what it’s like trying to get those last few hours of Zzzz’s in while someone’s crashing around with no thought to the rest of the house!”

Within a half an hour, I realized I had made a point, but not the one I wanted to make and not to the right people. I had woken up the houseguest. He got up and began making coffee while The Uncles slept peacefully.

Urg! Then I felt horribly. What ogre doesn’t get over such childish behavior in her thirties?!

Later on that day I stopped by the hardware store and purchased some weather stripping and affixed it to the door jam. Now the bang is muted, and doesn’t prickle the back of my neck every time someone enters or leaves the kitchen. I could have done that in the first place.

Of course, The Uncles and the house guest have no idea what a prat I was being. But I know. And now I have to live with it. I guess it’s back to the trenches and I’ll roll my sleeves up and try a little harder. I’ve got to be a better person even when I’m in a bad mood.

Comment from the old blog:

Oh that’s too funny, I’m still giggling – I say way to go: You tried your best to teach them a little empathy, you made the best of the situation in the end… I say laugh that guilt right off!