I’ve been feeling a strange sort of depression for over a week now, and it makes me not want to do anything. I suddenly have no interest in keeping up with my blog or seeing what all my friends are doing. That explains my virtual absence. (ha! pun!)
This is corresponding with my moon cycle, so I suppose it could just be a double-dose of girl chemicals raging through my body, and I can likely expect the dull mood to pass. It’s weird to have such strong symptoms and no menstruation (I had a hysterectomy in 2002).
I was euphoric about getting the job for about 8 hours, and I then dropped even lower. It’s so weird. This is not like my normal me.
My boyfriend has been on a road trip for …oh, I hardly know anymore. Anyway, it’s weird to see how this freaky mood is affecting me in regards to him. I alternate between missing him, hoping he doesn’t come back soon, Loving him, and being furious at him. Sort of funny …because I can tell it’s all me. He’s nowhere around and yet I’ve got all these triggers going.
One fun thing was that I went to my kid’s school last night for a sort of intro-night for parents. I’ve been in her classroom and met her teacher already several times, but I am still hungry for more interaction since I’ve missed out on three years of her school life. I just remembered last night while I was there with all the other parents that I LOVE 5th graders. When I used to speak to students all the time for my job, I decided that 5th and 6th graders are my favouritest. They are so brilliant and have no cynicism. yet.
I’ve been running several times a week and doing situps and pushups (wimpy wimpy wimpy) so hopefullly I’ll pull my pudding-body back together. I think the structure of a job will help a lot. I was not meant to live without structure. I begin October 1st and my first paycheck will arrive the end of October. Then maybe we can get our own place with some actual privacy and begin the rest of our lives.