Biennial Good Things

Welcome to yet another New Year tradition post, to add to all the others you have been seeing. I will re-visit my Good Things Jar. This is something I’ve been doing for years that is an attempt to get me to stop and pay attention to good stuff in my life for no other reason than to make it a habit. The plan is always to review it in the first days of January, but that doesn’t happen consistently. It’s apparently become a biennial or triennial routine, rather than an annual one. But that’s ok because the more important part is that I keep dropping in slips of paper.

Warning: this post is depressing. I’m sorry. Looking back on two years, I see a lot of struggle on these little slips of paper, but also a lot of hope that keeps it all going. Just skip it if you want to keep things light today.

2024

• January 19, My relationship with Kellen is great
• January 20, I have a new, beautifully decorated Good Things Jar (painted by Kellen)
• January 22, Margaret and Allen are fun guests
• January 25, I like being a morning person
• February 3, I found a way to calm down before sending an email berating my team
• February 13, I am never too old to learn and grow
• March 4, I got to go see Marlene. I love her. ❤ (ooh, and I am getting ready for another trip to AZ to go see her again in one week!!)
• March 27, The Belle Brigade stresses me out, but also makes me happy
• March 31, I am grateful to be with Pedro. So in love.
• April 4, The March meeting was a success (I had forgotten how consumed I was by being Belle Brigade Captain that year)
• April 15, I am always getting better at self-reflection
• April 25, Though I’m not where I want to be, I know how to read myself
• April 27, I can write
• May 18, I am invited to join with others
• May 31, We are both healthy
• June 24, I am learning how Pedro communicates
• June 25, I have the patience and the heart to deal with Racecar (my poor kitty who was dying)
• July 24, Pedro trusts me
• August 19, I have a team of 11 other women, 2 drivers, and 3 volunteers, and they are all following my lead
• August 29, I am glad for my history that made me who I am
• August 29, I am grateful for my good health
• October 9, Morning snuggles
• October 23, I don’t know what’s wrong, but I am going to therapy
• October 27, Pedro keeps my fave Nespresso pods stocked
• November 6, Today of all days I must write a good thing. Humans survived the Holocaust. We survived many cults. We will survive this one too.
• November 13, My partner advocates for women
• November 20, Pedro notices things and changes his own behavior to help me
• December 4, I feel good about the way Racecar died (she curled up behind the couch on Thanksgiving Day, with us regularly checking on her and bringing water, and went to sleep and died)
• December 9, NEW ZEALAND!
• December 13, I had a good day with Liam (one of Pedro’s sons)
• December 14, Therapy helps me
• December 19, I still feel pretty
• December 24, Pedro makes homemade salsa all the time
• December 24, My blogosphere is filled with excellent people (That’s YOU)

Observations: I do a lot of introspection and reflection, because the jar is kept in the kitchen, so that is where I am standing when I notice the jar and remember to put a slip of paper into it. I apparently think about my team, my friends, my man, and my blog, while I’m working in the kitchen. How great is that last message?!

2025

• January 7, Not being too embarrassed to wear costumes on tour
• January 8, Not being on crutches
• January 10, Meds
• January 16, Good memories of fans (it was hot in New Zealand, and the hotel did not have AC, only a rattly old floor fan. Pedro and I lay there, sweating, and began sharing fond memories of times when we used fans, and somehow it became a really sweet moment)
• January 17, Real coffee
• January 25, I am grateful for friends who remember us
• February 18, If the world is going to end, at least I have Pedro with me
• March 10, Portland
• March 12, The economy is in jeopardy and I am planning a trip to England
• April 14, I have friends that I adore
• April 16, I am strong and beautiful
• May 29, Our new property is gorgeous and makes me smile
• June 11, When they shot rubber bullets at a girl just going home, and I cried, Pedro held me (oof – 2025 has been a really tough year when this is my “good thing” for the day)
• June 21, 217 and orange pylons (inside joke)
• July 16, We paid off our HOUSE!
• July 22, Something inside me keeps trying
• July 29, I love my relationship and I want it to thrive
• No date, JUPYTER! (Our new kitten)
• August 5, New beautiful chicken house
• No date, ❤ KISSING ❤
• September 1, It is still safe to protest
• October 12, I love Pedro enough to keep trying
• October 28, Ian & Eli are two excellent men & I love being in their lives (my brothers)
• No date, I am making progress on my book again
• November 8, Pedro’s kids are kind
• November 28, Pedro went to therapy with me (to learn better communication skills)
• December 9, Love my office!
• December 11, Pedro trusts me
• December 14, Pedro tries ❤
• December 22, The deliciousness of baked goods
• December 31, I am incorrigibly hopeful

Observations: In both years I mentioned “Pedro trusts me,” and I think that is a gift. I see more doom and gloom than usual in a jar that’s supposed to be filled with good stuff. But for real: 2025 has been very hard on us. And yes, it’s because of the President and the chaos and destruction he manifests on all sides of him. We fear one of us, or a loved one, being disappeared simply for having brown skin, Pedro losing his employer because his company is too “woke,” our kids ostracized for expressing their identity as more than M or F. Passport offices have already changed the gender on renewed passports to match a person’s birth certificate. Pedro’s son Liam is directly affected by this. Dark, poisonous thoughts claw at us all day long, every single day. It’s making work and school stressful. Here in the Portland area, we have organized community groups to surround day care and school facilities to fight off ICE when parents come to drop off or pick up their kids. And it’s not just adults: in November one of those kids was kidnapped by ICE when he left school grounds at lunchtime. Makes no difference if the people are here legally, or even citizens, because masked, unidentified, armed strangers grab people off streets and only ask questions later if the public causes an uproar. The administration has a plan to review all naturalized citizens and begin revoking citizenship for anyone they don’t like. Fear hovers at the edge of our psyche daily, which is not unique in the world, but a new thing in the U.S. Anxiety and suspicion makes it hard to be with others. One of my personal friendship groups has broken apart. And yes, my relationship is fraying. Not because we aren’t madly in love and loyal to each other, but because we are so stressed out we are on edge and can’t talk to each other anymore. But we are going to get through this madness. Pedro and I keep agreeing with each other that what we have together is good, and it’s the world going mad, not us. So we are going to cling to each other and figure it out.

There is so much good in the world. We are cognizant that we suffer much less than others do. Put these two things together, and that means I should have plenty to add to the jar in 2026. Each time we find a reason to smile and be grateful is a personal protest.